Take it to the face.
So there I am. What the hell just happened? I look around. In front of me is a bumper, eye level and about eight feet away. Behind me is a couple, eyes fixed on me as I look back over my shoulder towards them. The girl is looking at me like a monkey just crawled out of my ear. Mouth agape. They were probably thinking the same thing I was at that moment. What the hell just happened? My bike lays on the ground about 10 feet behind me. I look back at the car and catch a glimpse of the driver getting out to approach me. I check myself as I stand. No broken bones, no blood, not much pain. My glasses are bent to shit. Damnit, I think. Love those glasses. Then I realize that I ran into that car and stopped myself with my face. That is what the hell just happened.
Wow. That wasn't so bad. I hope there are no cars about to run me over. I hope no one saw that. I hope my bike is okay. I hope the guy I just hit doesn't beat me up...
The guy is gonna be pissed. I had to have put a decent dent in his bumper.
He approaches and asks "What the hell just happened?"
"I stopped myself on your rear window with my face"
"You OK?"
"I suppose so. I feel OK. God, man, sorry about that. My fault."
He laughs. "Damn, dude, you should be the Fall Guy."
I don't feel the same. Just stupid. I looked at his car. Aside from the 2 small scratches on the bumper, everything is okay. I retrieve my bike from the street. The couple are still standing there with their mouths hanging open. I was expecting the frame to be cracked, wheel trashed. As far I as I could tell, everything was fine. (Later I discovered that I bent both legs of the fork back about 30 millimeters.)
"Man, sorry about that. I feel like a moron."
" Sorry about that", he said, laughing. "I had right of way, but I stopped to let those folks in..."
"I should have left more space."
"Well, adios. Sorry again."
The security guard rolled up about then and apparently thought he was interrupting a fight. I chilled him out and hopped on the bike. Damn.
----
About two hours prior to my taking one to the face, I met up with some friends from work. Chris, Emily - a girl he recently met that he is shining on - her sister Katie, Struebie and his girl, Linda. The final game of the world cup was on and it was a good opportunity to rub elbows with some folks from work that are too new to see how truly dull and unfunny I am. We mainly talked about soccer, movies, and food. Erin is a fellow gamer, which is exceedingly rare, so we traded notes. Cool girl. We talked bicycles a bit, I mentioned my bike doesn't have brakes, and I got teased for having no real means of stopping my bike in case a car were to stop suddenly in my path. Hmmm. Funny how even when I am single, women around me seem to be right about everything.
----
Wow, that was cool. A D&D nerd. Too bad she lives in North Carolina. Chris really likes her. Sister's cool too. Its gonna be a hot one today. If I keep moving, it will cool off a bit. Man there are some pretty girls in Dallas. I will take the long way home.
Oh, shit. It's stopping. Can't slow down. Definitely gonna hit this car. This sucks... Ok, Marcus, loosen up. RELAX. Absorb the impact with your arms.
shit. Shit. SHIT. SHIIIITTTTT!!! Going faster that I thought.
I guess I'm about to get knocked out in the middle of this parking lot.
Hope...
I...
don't...
break...
my...
BONK!!!
What the hell just happened?
Wow. That wasn't so bad. I hope there are no cars about to run me over. I hope no one saw that. I hope my bike is okay. I hope the guy I just hit doesn't beat me up...
The guy is gonna be pissed. I had to have put a decent dent in his bumper.
He approaches and asks "What the hell just happened?"
"I stopped myself on your rear window with my face"
"You OK?"
"I suppose so. I feel OK. God, man, sorry about that. My fault."
He laughs. "Damn, dude, you should be the Fall Guy."
I don't feel the same. Just stupid. I looked at his car. Aside from the 2 small scratches on the bumper, everything is okay. I retrieve my bike from the street. The couple are still standing there with their mouths hanging open. I was expecting the frame to be cracked, wheel trashed. As far I as I could tell, everything was fine. (Later I discovered that I bent both legs of the fork back about 30 millimeters.)
"Man, sorry about that. I feel like a moron."
" Sorry about that", he said, laughing. "I had right of way, but I stopped to let those folks in..."
"I should have left more space."
"Well, adios. Sorry again."
The security guard rolled up about then and apparently thought he was interrupting a fight. I chilled him out and hopped on the bike. Damn.
----
About two hours prior to my taking one to the face, I met up with some friends from work. Chris, Emily - a girl he recently met that he is shining on - her sister Katie, Struebie and his girl, Linda. The final game of the world cup was on and it was a good opportunity to rub elbows with some folks from work that are too new to see how truly dull and unfunny I am. We mainly talked about soccer, movies, and food. Erin is a fellow gamer, which is exceedingly rare, so we traded notes. Cool girl. We talked bicycles a bit, I mentioned my bike doesn't have brakes, and I got teased for having no real means of stopping my bike in case a car were to stop suddenly in my path. Hmmm. Funny how even when I am single, women around me seem to be right about everything.
----
Wow, that was cool. A D&D nerd. Too bad she lives in North Carolina. Chris really likes her. Sister's cool too. Its gonna be a hot one today. If I keep moving, it will cool off a bit. Man there are some pretty girls in Dallas. I will take the long way home.
Oh, shit. It's stopping. Can't slow down. Definitely gonna hit this car. This sucks... Ok, Marcus, loosen up. RELAX. Absorb the impact with your arms.
shit. Shit. SHIT. SHIIIITTTTT!!! Going faster that I thought.
I guess I'm about to get knocked out in the middle of this parking lot.
Hope...
I...
don't...
break...
my...
BONK!!!
What the hell just happened?
posted by M. E. Davis at 9:14 PM
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